Are you feeling emotionally drained? This episode is for you. Often it’s the people in our lives that we care the most about that drain us the most. In this episode Erin and Jeremy will be discussing how to avoid being a people pleaser and how to establish boundaries with people that are emotional vampires. Let’s jump in!
Show Notes:
7 Mind Hacks to Permanently Erase the People Pleaser Mentality
5 Ways to Deal with People Who Drain You Emotionally
Hi There Jeremy
I have been listening to your podcast on people who emotionally drain you.
People cannot emotionally drain us unless we are giving them our energy and are emotionally attached to them.
People who are drawing off us, are experiencing neediness, the process of having emotional holes – they are often needy for attention, needy to be accepted, needy for reassurance and the baseline neediness that drives everyone’s behaviour at times, needy to feel safe and secure. All neediness comes down to safety and security, which is attached to our vulnerability.
Why do we give them our energy and why are we emotionally attached to them? Because we are needy of them, so we people please and many other types of behaviour.
We are vulnerable that if we don’t please them, then they will hurt, and if they do, then we will hurt because we believe we hurt them.
Our approach is driven by our neediness to be of value and ultimately also, to feel safe and secure and not hurt.
As no one can fill our neediness except ourselves, if you focus on filling your own neediness, then you will not be giving your energy away to the other person. They then cannot drain you. You are looking for the value and safety and security in you, rather than the other person. There are a number of steps to this process and the focus needs to be internal for it to truly heal.
One of the most effective ways of managing the other person’s behaviour is to facilitate them. Ask the person questions that support them filling their own neediness i.e. What can you do about it? What do you know is the best approach for you to take? – The type of question is dependent on the focus of their neediness.
Thanks for sharing